BUILDING THE RIGHT MORAL VALUES IN OUR SOCIETY.
“Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing” - Abraham Lincoln
Our society today has brewed an enclave which accommodates all forms of vices and disrespect to humanity. Robbery, rape, racism, bullying are few amongst the acts of immorality that has become prevalent in our society. While many people wonder how and why these acts of social vices have become prevalent by the day, a few believe that It cannot be unconnected to the lack of moral values and character. Marriages are broken, families torn apart and ties of kinship are severed; these amongst other factors are contributory to moral decadence in our society. However, it’s imperative we look into ways of righting these wrongs and ensuring we live in a society that breeds inhabitants with self-respect and high moral standards. Hopefully, we can raise a generation that respects one another irrespective of race, beliefs or gender.
What are moral values?
“Morals: respect for others guides our manners” -Laurence Sterne
Values: Values are rules by which we make decisions about right and wrong, good or bad. They tell us what things are of more or less importance or of usefulness. CALD defines value as the beliefs people have about what is right and wrong and what is most important in life, which control their behaviour.
Morals: According to CALD also, morals can be simply defined as standards for good or bad character and behaviour.
Therefore, we can safely define moral values as a set standard for character and behaviour, good or bad, right or wrong which controls and determines their human behaviour. Without these standards, you might tend to be easily influenced negatively and find it difficult to differentiate between right and wrong.
How to build moral values.
Now that we know what moral values are, how do we imbibe them and also instil them in our young generation?
Dr. Michele Bobra in her book Building moral intelligence; Seven essential virtues that teach kids to do the right thing highlighted seven essential virtues that teach kids to do the right thing. Below is a summary of the seven virtues:
1. KNOW WHAT YOU STAND FOR SO YOUR KIDS KNOWS
There are certain moral beliefs and values you cherish most. Identify them and write them down. Narrow them into three limits you won’t dare cross. These set rules become your personal moral code which you will adhere strictly to. This way, your kids will imbibe and also grow their own moral beliefs.
2. WALK YOUR TALK
A question you should ask yourself each day is: “If I were the only example my child had to learn moral habits, what did she learn today from watching me?” The answer can be quite revealing. By watching your choices and hearing your casual comments, kids learn our moral standards.
3. SHARE YOUR MORAL BELIEFS AND TAKE A STAND
Employ the method of direct moral teaching. This is an act of speaking to your child about moral values frequently. Parents who raise ethical kids do it a lot. Look for moral issues and talk about them as they come up: from TV shows and news events to situations at home, school, and friends. Tell your kids how you feel about the issue and why.
Most importantly, Stand up for your own beliefs whenever you feel a major value is jeopardised. Your kid needs to see and hear about moral courage so he has an example to copy.
4. ASK MORAL QUESTIONS TO STRETCH MORAL DEVELOPMENT
Questioning is an important parenting tool for enhancing children’s consciences and strengthening moral beliefs. The right kind of questions can help kids expand their ability to take another perspective and ask themselves: “Is this the right thing to do?” Both are critical precursors to taking any moral stand.
5. BOOST EMPATHY
Kids who stick up for others are kids who feel for others. Empathy is what motivates that feeling, halts cruel behavior and urges kids to take a stand.
Here are two powerful ways to nurture empathy:
Ask: How would you feel? Ask kids to ponder how another person feels using situations in books, TV, and movies as well as real life. It forces them to think about other peoples’ concerns.
· Use role playing. It helps kids imagine others’ feelings so ask your child to think how the other person would feel if roles were reversed. “Switch sides: what would the other person say and do?” Young kids can use puppets or toy figures to act out the problem from both sides.
6. REINFORCE ASSERTIVENESS NOT COMPLIANCE
If you want to raise a child who can stand up for his beliefs, then reinforce assertiveness—not compliance.
Encourage him to share his opinions and stand up for what is right. And do so from an early age so he can weather the storm of negative peer influence. Parents who raise morally courageous kids expect their kids to act morally—even demand that they do.
7. TEACH ASSERTIVE SKILLS
The truth is that it takes real moral strength to go against peer pressure and to stick up for your beliefs. So teach your child assertive skills so he can take the right kind of stand whenever he’s confronted with a moral dilemma.
Here are three ways to boost moral courage:
· Teach assertive posture. Teach your kid to stand up for his beliefs by using confident, assertive posture: stand tall with feet slightly apart, head held high, and look the person straight in the eye.
· Say NO firmly. Stress that he must say his beliefs using a friendly, but determined voice. Then don’t give in. His job is not to try changing the other person’s mind, but to follow his beliefs.
· Tell reasons why. Ask your child to give the person the reason for his stand. It helps strengthen his conviction: “Stop bullying him; it’s cruel.” Or “No, it’s illegal and wrong.” Repeating the belief several times boosts assertiveness and helps your child not back down from his stand.
“Crime thrives in a lawless land.”- Yoruba Adage
In conclusion, societal decadence is on the rise today. The perpetrators of these acts are not strangers in our society. We owe our society the responsibility of correcting these ills. As a community, it is important we live as people together in love peace and harmony, respecting people’s opinion, making informed decisions, upholding good and condemning indecency. By so doing, we will be on the right course of building a society inhabited by people of high moral values and standards. If we continue to ignore and not uphold the right moral values, we all will bear the consequences of the laxity of the imoral ones.
· CALD – Cambridge Advance learners Dictionary (3rd edition)
